Force Ghost Life Coaches
by Painted Orchid
Summary: When Luke promised he would always be with him if Kylo Ren struck him down he wasn't kidding... Luke decides to help out his nephew win back his girl, and a few other notable characters decide to pitch their advice. Kylo Ren might defect to the resistance just to get them to leave him alone. Rated M just as a precaution for language, violence, and occasional innuendo.
1. Prologue

**AN: Okay, so I know I haven't worked on my Doctor Who fic in a while, (a long while) but thanks to TLJ I have been on a Star Wars kick and I can't focus on anything else. I need to get some of these Reylo feels off my chest after the movie, maybe then I'll be able to write something non-Star Wars. Maybe. It's supposed to be a bit of a crackfic, but I'm abysmal at writing humor, so bear with me and let me know if it's any good.**

 **Prologue:**

The door to the Falcon closed, and the force bond shut off almost in synch with it. He was left on his knees, face damp from tear tracks he couldn't bother himself to wipe, not even caring at this point if any other members of the First Order saw. He was alone again.

"Well you really messed up now, Ben." Or not. Whirling out his saber Kylo Ren spun and drove it into... _Skywalker,_ rimmed in _blue_. He didn't even flinch, and even though Kylo Ren knew he was dead, had felt it in the force, he thinks to himself that he could have stayed a little deader for a little longer.

"Why are you _here_ ," he rages, swinging the saber through his deceased uncle once more, despite knowing it will do nothing. Skywalker doesn't even flinch, merely raises an eyebrow and crosses his arms. Oh how Kylo _hated_ that look.

"I told you not to strike me down. A little trick I learned from your namesake… of course he took his time appearing to me. I decided you could use my help a little sooner," Kylo swings his saber again, halfheartedly this time, aware that the troopers who had entered the room with him are standing there uncomfortably, probably wondering why he was striking at the air and talking to himself. He'll have to kill them later, probably, to keep them from telling Hux he'd lost his damn mind. They wouldn't even be wrong.

"I don't need- or want- your help _Skywalker_. Or are you going to try to kill me from inside the Force?" he snarls, grateful, at least, for the distraction from his misery moments before.

"Seeing as your girlfriend just ran off and left you crying on your knees, I'd say you do need my help," the old Jedi says with a triumphant smirk. Kylo's heart shatters all over again, and this time he simply clutches his saber with shaking fingers. So much for a distraction.

"She's not… I'm not… I don't need your help!" He stumbles over which of the lies to address first, before deciding the only one he can really refute is the misplaced offer.

"That's too bad. Lucky for you I've got nothing better to do post-mortem."

"You're not going to bother to train your precious apprentice?" He hisses, feeling a stab of pity for Rey, that Luke didn't even want her in his death, and then remembers he should feel only anger at her. How did she _do_ this to him? Skywalker's sunny expression dims slightly.

"I figured you could train her. She's stubborn and I'm retired. I'm certainly not going to try to train another one that's that much work after I'm dead. But you had to go and push her away, so that plain fell through," the Jedi sighs, and Kylo's head spins in confusion and irritation. He opens his mouth to ask why his former master- his enemy- thought Ben would train Rey, and then closes it. He wouldn't get a straight answer anyway. He changes tactics.

"How do you think you're going to help me? By convincing me to desert the First Order? Join the Resistence? Go back to General Organa? Pretend nothing ever happened, that she didn't send me away, that I didn't join Snoke, that you didn't try to _kill me?"_ He's shouting by the end of the tirade, and the Jedi just frowns in response.

"Actually no, I was just going to help you get Rey back." Kylo's mind screeches to a halt. Again. Force, this conversation is going to drive him even crazier with all its unexpected turns.

"What? But you… you tried to kill her when you saw us on Ach-To meeting through the Force…" Luke shifts a bit, almost looking awkward.

"I ah… may have sensed you through the Force long before I got there. And I was blocking you two out, but the emotions were so strong I thought I was interrupting something else. I believe I overreacted, my bad." Kylo doesn't know whether to feel horrified or furious. Furious is easier, familiar, so he sticks with that.

"What is _wrong_ with you old man?" he snaps, as Luke raises his hands as if to placate him.

"Look, most of my students were teenagers. I knew what went on back in that Jedi Academy. I mean, not you, but some of the others…" Kylo Ren buries his face in his hands. This was far, far worse than having Luke try to kill him. He wishes the old man hadn't died. This is torture.

"Get out. Go back to the Force, or whatever, just leave me alone!"

"No, I'm enjoying myself here. I've been alone on an island for so long, I think I've missed speaking to others. And you're so easy to get a rise out of," Luke says cheerfully, and Kylo briefly contemplates using his lightsaber to burn off his own ears. Could he still hear a Force ghost without ears? Probably, knowing his luck. Regardless, he has a galaxy to run, and so, resolving to simply ignore the annoying blue Jedi behind him, he struggles to decide his next actions. Maybe he'd get bored and leave Kylo alone. He turns his attention at last to the two Stormtroopers who had entered the room behind him. Shame, really, he thinks as he uses his saber to execute them both in a single sweep, if Luke hadn't shown up they wouldn't have needed to die.

"Rey won't like that," Luke comments with a wince as their bodies hit the ground. Kylo Ren ignores him, clenching his jaw shut as tightly as possible. But the ghost follows as he returns to the rest of his forces. As Luke chats and Kylo tries to block him out, it dawns that this is actually the worst possible outcome he had never imagined from this fight. The past just wouldn't stay dead, in fact it was literally stalking him, and he wasn't sure how to kill a ghost.

 **AN: I have a few ideas of where I want to go with this. Planning on just being a short ficlet. And yes, I'm Reylo trash. Have been since I saw TFA, and totally called it way before TLJ. Don't like don't read. Feel free to make suggestions because I'm just throwing random stuff into this story to see what sticks.**


	2. Chapter 1: Uncivilized Behavior

**AN: I know it's a bit short, but I wanted to get something out on Christmas day. If you celebrate Christmas, Merry Christmas (if not, then it's just a happy day that I'm updating!) I'm glad those of you who reviewed found this funny, I don't generally think I'm that funny of a writer, so it's good to hear that someone at least gets my humor. I am afraid this chapter has a bit of angst in it that just kind of happened. I had to fit plot in here somehow, sorry! I have plans already in my mind for the next chapter, but tomorrow is insanely busy… so expect a few days before the next update. Enjoy!**

By the time he navigated through the numerous stormtroopers following his every move, stormed past and threatened to choke Hux, ("If the First Order is full of pompous fools like that it's no wonder you're still mired in the darkside's hatred and anger," Luke had quipped, prompting a grudging agreement with his ghostly companion, Kylo was exhausted. As he shut the door to his quarters, he realized that it was utterly silent and devoid of irritating dead Jedi. It must be too tiring to maintain one's deceased Force presence for a full half hour, thank the Force. Sighing in relief, Kylo dropped into the lone chair in his quarters and rested his aching head in his hands. He just needed a moment to think over the insane events of the past few hours- Force had it only been hours since he connected with Rey on Ach-To? It felt like a lifetime ago. So much had happened- Rey arriving, shipping herself through space in an escape pod, killing Snoke- _he'd killed his master, and if that wasn't a confusing mix of terror and relief he didn't know what was_ \- and fighting with Rey, and then Crait... It was all too much. The mess of emotions rushing over him was enough to make him want to tear apart his quarters with his lightsaber but he was too exhausted even for that. And so instead he sat, head still in his hands, and tried to think about nothing. He'd never admit it to anyone, but falling back into the old Jedi meditation techniques could be almost as helpful as bashing things with a lightsaber when the latter was unavailable.

"Ben?" At first he thought he had imagined the quiet voice breaking his light trance, but he could feel the shift in the Force. He tried to ignore it.

"I know you know I'm here," her voice was sharp now, shimmering with the anger he had seen reflected in her eyes more than any other emotion. It was one that defined them. He remained silent. He didn't really want to see it again.

"Hey, are you... are you okay?" Her voice was softer now, and that somehow hurt more.

"Fine." He grunted, trying to remind himself how she rejected his offer, trying to ignore how the sudden crushing weight of his new position would be less empty with someone at his side. With her.

He could feel her move closer, even though her feet made no sound on the bare metal of his floor.

"No, you're not. I can feel your emotions, they're all over the place," her voice was more earnest now and right beside him. It hurt to know she wasn't really there, never would be.

"Just leave me alone. You're good at that," he snapped. He could feel her anger rise up, that temper and fire that he so admired. She wasn't much better than he was at controlling her emotions.

"Why do you keep pushing me away then? Why don't you get that I just couldn't join you in watching my friends die?"

"Why can't you understand that I have invested years of my life, sacrificed so much, _killed my own father_ , for the cause you ask me to just walk away from for someone I hardly know. I couldn't just leave all of this behind regardless of how much I want to!" She was silent, and as his own words sunk in, he took a chance on looking up to see her face with a look of confusion and surprise before she vanished and he was alone again. Where before it had been a relief, now it only left him cold.

He sat up at last, knowing that he would find no peace at this rate and deciding to simply prepare to sleep, regardless of whether it came easily or was restful. He needed to be somewhat alert tomorrow to begin his new reign as Supreme Leader. He shuddered. Despite the fun that was lording his higher rank over Hux, he didn't really want the hassle. Actually, that was really the only part of this he even enjoyed. Maybe tomorrow he could make it mandatory that all First Order Generals dress in bright orange. It would clash horribly with Hux's obnoxious hair. Cheered slightly by the thought, Kylo headed for the shower, intending to wash off the ash, blood, and who-knew-what else still clinging to him after the battle with the Praetorian guards and his later faux battle with Skywalker on Crait. He stripped out of his torn and dirtied clothes- honestly at this point they probably needed burned and took a rare moment of much needed calm under the burning water. His tight, sore muscles began to unwind even as the various burns and injuries across his skin stung. He'd have to remember to put bacta patches on those after he finished showering. Eyes closed, water drowning out the world, he almost didn't feel the whisper in the Force. As such, he had almost no warning when he opened his eyes to find the blue-lined Force ghost of a bearded man in Jedi robes fixing him with a serene, but slightly exasperated look. Kylo shouted in surprise, slipped on a bar of soap, and with water and shampoo burning his eyes, rear smarting from hitting the floor of the 'fresher, struggled to find the towel hanging just out of reach. Eventually giving up on using his hands and irritated eyes, he called the towel to his hand with the Force while simultaneously turning off the water. Once he was covered and could see again, he fixed the still silent Jedi ghost with an incredulous stare at the man's audacity and rudeness.

"Who are you and _what_ are you doing in my fresher?" Kylo demanded, shaken. The man shakes his head disapprovingly.

"You shouldn't use the Force for such a frivolous and unnecessary display. It's very uncivilized," is the only response the man gives.

"Uncivilized? Appearing while people are, are showering is uncivilized!" Kylo shouts in response. The man seems unfazed.

"That was... unintentional. Luke is new to this and was struggling to maintain a connection. I thought I was coming back to the moment he left but something in the Force must have interfered and I was, shall we say, unsuccessful in reaching you. I decided I would offer my advice in Luke's stead." Kylo could only stare in increasing horror as it dawned on him that whoever this was had no intention of leaving him alone to finish his shower or sleep in peace.

"But, but who _are_ you," was all Kylo could manage, voice tight and struggling.

"Why, I suppose you wouldn't recognize me, it's not like Luke kept any holos of me... I was his first, albeit short-lived, master. I'm your namesake, Ben Solo- Obi-Wan Kenobi, "Old Ben", Jedi Master at your service. I'm here to help you turn back to the light side."

Kylo Ren just sank to the floor of the fresher and tried not to cry. The Force was clearly trying to torture him.

 **AN: Again, inform me of and forgive me any errors or things that don't seem to fit the Star Wars universe. This is my first Star Wars fic, and even though I read tons of it, it's an entirely different venture being on the author side of things! Hopefully this is the most angsty it gets. Please read and review, reviews keep me writing and make me create new chapters faster!**


	3. Chapter 2: Everything You Said Was Wrong

**AN: Hellooo. So I just saw TLJ a second time, because why not, and I am happy to grace y'all with the addition of an entire separate scene to this chapter. I was going to wait and put it in the next chapter but I'm too excited. Poor baby Kylo is having his world ripped apart and I wanted to have a little more fun with his character before quitting today.**

Kylo sat on the edge of his bed, hair damp but free of shampoo and now fully clothed. The Force ghost calling himself Obi-Wan, one of Skywalker's mysterious teachers, sits on the chair across the room where Kylo had sat not long ago. Idly, his mind too scattered to think through much else, he reflected that a ghost shouldn't really need to sit at all.

"Ben-"

"That's not my name," Kylo snaps, eyes focusing once more as the moniker draws him back to the issue at hand.

"That's not what Luke told me," Obi-Wan says simply, face back to that infuriating calm. Kylo snarls, wishing he could swing his lightsaber through the blue menace.

"I am not the foolish child Skywalker once knew. I am not Ben. My name is Kylo Ren." Obi-Wan is silent for a moment and Kylo has the strangest feeling that he's being examined. When at last he speaks, his words take Kylo by surprise.

"You remind me so much of my padawan," the man sighs, "Clearly his most irritating traits were hereditary."

"I'm not... I'm nothing like Skywalker," Kylo's words come out laced with more confusion than anger this time. He's surprised at the turn of the conversation, and mildly sickened at the idea that he has anything in common with his uncle. Though what the ghost means by irritating he's unsure.

"Really? Oh, of course, I don't think you've ever met him... he's rather recalcitrant about the whole Force ghost thing, which isn't surprising. It's something his extraordinary power in the Force doesn't really help with- takes more finesse and focus and those have never been his strong suits," Obi-Wan trails off, a distant look of fond exasperation covering his face, and Kylo feels his confusion triple.

"I don't think we're talking about the same- are we both talking about Luke Skywalker or...?" Obi-Wan's surprise is almost comical.

"Oh dear, no wonder you look so lost. No, I'm talking about his father, Anakin Skywalker." Kylo's blood turns to ice. His grandfather. Darth Vader. This was Vader's Jedi master. Suddenly eager to pry at the mind of the closest person to his grandfather, Kylo feels his exhaustion from earlier trickle away.

"I'm like Vader?" he asks eagerly. Obi-Wan winces.

"Anakin," he corrects. At Kylo's frown, Obi-Wan adds, "He returned to the name Anakin after he returned to the light." Kylo furrows his brow, and considers Obi-Wan's words, something about them conflicting and scratching at a thought he can't quite recall.

"But he was a Sith Lord... he turned away from the Jedi because they were wrong and he- the Emperor killed him and he never achieved his destiny of ruling..." Kylo feels something stir within him, a sense that even as he speaks the words are wrong somehow and frowns. There are gaps still in his thoughts, ones he didn't notice until Snoke was dead and unable to go in and shuffle things around. While he was glad to have learned the art of entering and manipulating the minds of others so thoroughly, he had often wished his former master were not quite so proficient at entering his apprentice's mind. He is only just now realizing how much influence his master had on his mind.

"Oh dear child, someone has greatly misled you in your family history. Why don't we try to correct that?" Obi-Wan says, and despite his wariness and reservations there is something honest and powerful about the older man that brings Kylo to nod. After all, he's been searching for answers and understanding his whole life. Maybe this man- a Jedi of the fallen, failed Republic, will be able to give him a better idea of his path in the future as the new Supreme Leader of the First Order. And besides, this man had been Vader's original master. He was sure to be a wealth of knowledge.

And so, for the next few hours, Kylo Ren sat in stunned silence as Obi-Wan told him the story of a blockade on Naboo, a slave boy from Tatooine, and eventually a Sith who turned the Republic on itself and brought all of it- including the Jedi- to its knees. When Obi-Wan finally ended with Vader- Anakin's? death on the second Death Star, Kylo Ren was silent for a long time, mind frantically whirling to process galaxy-shattering revelations.

"Why was I never told any of this?" He finally said, quietly, in a voice hoarse from disuse or emotion, he wasn't even certain.

"I'm not sure, some of it Luke probably never knew- Sidious and to some extent Vader were thorough in destroying records of the Jedi and the Republic, and Sidious especially warped the entire history of the Empire to suit his desires. As for Vader's part in Luke's story... I assume he was trying to protect his students from his own pain. He was always more like his mother, planning and waiting. But perhaps in this case he waited too long to tell you the truth. Obi-Wan's expression was gentle, but not pitying, and Kylo found that he appreciated it.

He laughed bitterly, and hung his head into his hands, breathing hard and choking back a sob. He'd been so wrong about so much... the implications were too painful to consider at the moment.

"I, this changes everything. I believed Vader was just trying to fix things, to lead the galaxy to greatness, to bring order to a galaxy that was failed by the Jedi and the Republic. I thought my... my Mother was trying to bring back a lost cause but it was the Empire, the First Order that was the lost cause, the ruin in the galaxy. WHY DIDN'T THEY TELL ME?!" His scream echoed in the small, but barren room, and the Jedi before him opened his mouth to speak, but Kylo cut him off with a near-hysterical, harsh chuckle. "I have thrown away everything to follow in the footsteps of a man who was a failure? A man who wasn't a good enough Jedi to give up his family but wasn't a good enough Sith to use his power to correct the galaxy." His voice was bitter, and the weight of what he'd done, what he'd given up was crushing him.

"Hold up a moment, I wasn't a complete failure," a new voice and presence breaks into the already taught environment of his room, the Force humming with the new power being swirled into the maelstrom of emotions. Kylo looks up to see a younger man than Obi-Wan, with long hair curling around his face and arms crossed over his black leather ensemble. At this point, he might as well give up on sleeping. These strangers invading his quarters were going to drive him mad.

"And just _who_ are you," Kylo demanded, not even bothering to hide the exhaustion in his voice. Before the new Force ghost replied, Obi-Wan cut in.

"So you've finally figured out how to project yourself in this plane again?" he said in a fond, teasing tone. The newcomer glared at his ghostly companion.

"Some of us haven't had decades spent meditating in a desert to work out just how to do this," he retorted. Kylo looked at him with an appraising glance, trying to place the familiarity assaulting his senses. The man's eyes fell on Kylo and his face split into an unnervingly roguish grin. "Good to finally meet you there, Kylo Ben, even if it's as you're insulting me."

Almost automatically now, Kylo corrects "Kylo _Ren_ ," before a flicker of awareness in his tired mind brings his eyes back to study the face of the Force ghost before him again. "And you are?"

"Ah, right, you wouldn't know me now, would you? Hello there grandson," the man, _Darth Vader_ \- Anakin Skywalker, whatever the hell he went by, said with that same smirk on his face.

"Anakin, stop tormenting the poor child, he's been through a great deal today," Obi-Wan chips in, appearing beside Anakin's- _that answered that question_ \- shoulder.

"Not a kid," Kylo mumbled, but the two didn't even seem to notice he'd spoken.

"I can torment him all I like, he's had my entire life story wrong for his entire life and was hero-worshipping my worst failures. What else am I supposed to do with him?" Anakin throws his hands up in his air and paces. Obi-Wan just crosses his arms.

"You could help set him straight."

The entire exchange is surreal, and Kylo watches, slack jawed and not entirely convinced he isn't hallucinating. Anakin finally stops and turns to study Kylo, with a furrowed brow and intense expression that makes him feel as though his grandfather's ghost is examining his entire mind and soul with just a glance.

"Alright, look here. I screwed up- turns out the dark side's power doesn't give you the ability to fix whatever problems you have. Getting so power-drunk that you choke your pregnant wife is a potential consequence of dabbling in the dark, and being an evil overlord who destroys his family and has nothing but endless Stormtroopers around all day is miserable. Avoid all of that," Anakin says. Kylo has to be hallucinating, none of this even makes sense.

"And you wondered why we hid your children so that you wouldn't be the one to raise them," Obi-Wan muttered, as Anakin shot him a mutinous look. "Ben is already Supreme Leader of the galaxy, whatever that means, and he apparently just tried to convince his girlfriend to join him by offering her the chance to rule the galaxy, which she of course turned down. Oh, and he killed his father and ordered the destruction of the rebel base where his mother was. Anakin he's basically you, give him something more specific."

"Wait, my m- Organa is alive?" Kylo cuts in, surely he heard wrong? He's tempted to stretch out in the Force to feel for her presence, but he promised himself to cut himself off completely from her. He didn't want anything to do with her. And he'd seen her on the bridge of the ship, he'd seen it blown up by First Order ships, he'd watched as those same ships met their end at laser fire and felt a grim satisfaction that was pale in comparison to the crushing knowledge that she'd been blasted out into space.

"You didn't know? She used the Force to pull herself back onto the cruiser. She escaped with the rest of the Resistance," Obi-Wan said casually, as if this weren't important. He'd almost- when he'd ordered them to show no mercy, to destroy anyone at the rebel base on Crait. A shudder wracked his body, and the two dead Jedi looked at him in concern.

"Maybe we should let him rest for now. He looks like he's about to collapse. Anakin, do you think you could bring yourself back relatively soon? Time seems to pass differently here, I haven't quite mastered that yet, but maybe we could ask Master Yoda how to materialize at specific times," Obi-Wan muses.

Anakin's expression is less than thrilled, but he nods grudgingly, then turns to Kylo.

"Try not to kill your mother or your girlfriend before we get in touch with you again," Anakin barely finishes speaking and he is gone, leaving the words 'she's not my girlfriend' dying on Kylo's lips. His room is utterly, painfully silent once more, and he is left alone with his self-destructive thoughts and a sense that this whole Force ghost thing was going to be far more painful than he'd initially anticipated.

 **AN: Give me a few days to work on the next one. Maybe I'll give Kylo a break and switch to Rey's perspective, haven't really decided yet. Also, as we've established, it is my headcannon that Kylo did not know Leia was still alive/on Crait. I think he had distanced himself so far from his blood relatives that he was unaware as to whether or not her Force presence was still around, and he DID watch the bridge of her ship blown to smithereens in front of him. Believe what you want, but that's my take on it. I mean, it's not like Rey ever pointed out "your mother's on that ship!" when she asked him to save the fleet. Either way, we are slowing up on the angst and it will hopefully start to be more cheerful in future chapters. Had to make it a little dark before the light could rise to meet it right?**


End file.
